Don't love me and leave me
I used to love her so much that I did good for myself and others. I loved her so much I would do things I enjoyed like reading,learning and my silly obsessions with birds was cool to her. I loved her, I was so happy..I would appreciate myself without wanting anyone else to first. She taught me that. I helped those around me and constantly wanted to improve as a muslim, then I stoppd loving her and I left.
I loved and i left.
Her words haunt me ...inside of me ....we were together since birth then suddenly I abandoned her, but maybe she saw it coming those signs, those things I I did. I still hear her voice inside but I ignore it sometimes ...
How could you leave? How could you run to the one would never be there for you? The one who told you you were never good enough? Wasn't I good enough?
Wasn't I enough for you?
Or did you want to be her? That girl from the dramas you watch. That girl you see in those movies you adore or was it those hijabi youtubers that made you forget all the good times we had? Me and you together since birth but you left
You left to be someone you were never made to be. Someone who didn't care about things you did, they cared about the world and it's image but you never did. You cared about people. And their souls, you cared about nature and helping others, stop running from me and come back.
I want to come back I say it to her. I say to her inside my head. I can hear her smile and her nod of approval.
I want to be reunited with you old friend. Old soul and ancient owl, I regret what I did. Can I ever be forgiven?
I wonder how long it will tak before she comes out again. Befor i see my true self appear and not the plastic image infront of me. Not the painted reflection but the one underneath the one with the biggest smile and happiest laugh the one who screams and lives and does not stand on toes when others are around.
I know it will be okay because although I left she never left, and she wants to be reunited , I don't want to leave again. I want to love myself the way I should.
I loved and i left.
Her words haunt me ...inside of me ....we were together since birth then suddenly I abandoned her, but maybe she saw it coming those signs, those things I I did. I still hear her voice inside but I ignore it sometimes ...
How could you leave? How could you run to the one would never be there for you? The one who told you you were never good enough? Wasn't I good enough?
Wasn't I enough for you?
Or did you want to be her? That girl from the dramas you watch. That girl you see in those movies you adore or was it those hijabi youtubers that made you forget all the good times we had? Me and you together since birth but you left
You left to be someone you were never made to be. Someone who didn't care about things you did, they cared about the world and it's image but you never did. You cared about people. And their souls, you cared about nature and helping others, stop running from me and come back.
I want to come back I say it to her. I say to her inside my head. I can hear her smile and her nod of approval.
I want to be reunited with you old friend. Old soul and ancient owl, I regret what I did. Can I ever be forgiven?
I wonder how long it will tak before she comes out again. Befor i see my true self appear and not the plastic image infront of me. Not the painted reflection but the one underneath the one with the biggest smile and happiest laugh the one who screams and lives and does not stand on toes when others are around.
I know it will be okay because although I left she never left, and she wants to be reunited , I don't want to leave again. I want to love myself the way I should.
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