No connections

Today is meant to be one of the hottest days, it's unbelievably stuffy especially in my room. The sky looks beautiful and my garden looks picturesque, I wonder if I still have my job, I wonder if my little sister will grow up to be well-mannered (although the odds are against it)

      There's something about feeling hot and smelling the burnt BBQ smells from the garden, something nostalgic. I think about three or four years ago it was summer when my mum came home and we threw a party. It's nice throwing parties in the summer, makes you appreciate life more. I like the colour vanilla in summer- reminds me of Italy (although I've never been) I've been reading 'Before I Go'-its a book about a woman who has cancer and searches for a wife for her husband before she dies. It's written remarkably in my eyes anyway, I like her thought process and her descriptions.

I wish I lived on a beach and everyday I woke up walking on the beach, reading and eating wonderful food. I wish I could just lay in the sea with no thoughts of the future or ideas of what to be and what to do.

Sometimes I wish I could just leave everyone and attain some great peace. Maybe one day.