God, are you there?

Im worried,
Im worried what I have now will dissappear before my eyes.
Sometimes it feels like a dream, that I'll wake up and it'll be gone.
Ive never thought that I'd find anything so amazing- can't something amazing happen for me?

Im not trying to play the victim but I think I've been through enough, enough to have some happiness?

It seems to good to be true, nothing good lasts for me.
Its just the way it is.
The natural order

I suppose it comes down to relying on God.
If its meant for me, I'll have it.
As much as I want to completely rely on God, there's a part of me that wants this so much, its so hard to just let go.