Floating thoughts

Is it possible that things we hate or the people and qualities we hate, we secretly want to be? Some deep unconscious desire? It is happened so many times I can't keep count. Where I've hated a quality in someone and I've developed it myself. But the reverse has also happened I've been hated for a quality and strived to never be that anymore. Funny isn't it?

Maybe the hate is misunderstood maybe it's a lack of understanding which leads us to develop it ourselves. Maybe we understand how hate better when we go through it? I wonder. On a side note. Hijabihayah and you, IV are becoming more and more similar each day.

I need to do more meditation and yoga, I'm also loving food. I've been reading more romantic books lately. I wish my library had beanie chairs to sit on so I could sit there and read. I think tomorrow I'm going to go out to read in the library. It's never very comfortable. I always have this fantasy of reading in the library and being extremely enlightened or some BS like that. Speaking of fantasies, I've been having a fantasy of leaving my family and leaving all rubbish responsibility and being extremely happy meditating and exploring my soul.

Well I'll leave you with that.
And thats a wrap folks.