Battle plans

I feel like I'm on edge of finding out something I don't want to know.

Is this behaviour normal for me?
Why do I feel like this?
Is this my mental health acting up again?

Progressively my mental health has changed, it's tactics to attack me has changed and somehow I don't know how to deal with them. It's come back harder and stronger not satisfied at losing a war it's hell bent on winning. But my battle plan is not to defend straight away, I'll drag it out, I'll call up a siege and however long it takes I'm willing, I won't concede.

That's never been an option.