Streamsof consciousness

I shouldn't watch so many horror movies, it does keep me up at night, unfortunately. I do fall asleep but if I think too much about it I do end up trying to stay awake. Anyway I was thinking about something. I've been thinking how hate can change a person-for the worse of course. I don't think such a bitter emotion such as hate could ever make anyone a better person.

And it's true, it didn't. It made me act in ways I've never acted, say things that wasn't me. I don't want to be hateful but I am, I won't remain this way however. I choose the way I am and I am taking a stand. I am taking a stand because it's eaten me up inside, taken away from me.

Its not possible to isolate a part of myself and say that's because of this and this therefore I am justified to be bitter but in all aspects of my life I will be happy and positive to others. That's not reality. Reality is the bitterness spreads and devours. And reality is you end up changing.

I don't wanna change!

I feel like I'm writing a response to my hatred. Hatred if you're listening, it's high time you get the hell out of here! I'm gonna beat you if you don't get out!

In other news, I do not like waking up early . Sure I can do it, but do I like it , no! Do you know what, there was a time when waking up early did not bother me, at all. I wish I felt like that.

This is slowly becoming a stream of consciousness.

I guess it is.

I'm getting ready for university.

I know it's not a journal post. What the heck, it might as well be a stream of consciousness.

Anyhoo, I'm off.
Ciao