Gloom

Is it silly that when people ask me I sometimes lie and say I'm with you when I'm not? 

I've told people just to make myself feel like it's true. Isn't that funny? So I feel like I finally had my chance. Finally living the expectations I have in my head.

It could be called sad, pathetic even weird. I'm not sure I wouldn't agree, but if it's something I want to do then shouldn't I do it? Shouldn't I make myself happier?

It's not my fault really. Surrounded by idealistic and urealistic notions of love, how could I not turn out like this?

It's a sad summer morning because although the sun is bright and warm my heart feels forlorn and gloomy.